Published on March 5th, 2014 | by Tanuki0
Nerd Rage :: Texas Man Stabbed w/ Legend of Zelda Sword in Domestic Melee!
They say love will make you do crazy things. One man in Texas is suffering from multiple injuries after storming a house where his ex-wife was waiting with a big surprise: her current lover, and his Legend of Zelda replica sword.
HOUSTON – After an argument had broken out between Kim Wilkey and her otaku boyfriend, Eugen Thompson, she invited her former husband, John Wilkey, to the house in order to settle things down. Like storming a castle, John burst into the house, full of adrenaline, ready to slay a mighty foe. Eugene, knowing he would be dealing with an invader, ran to the bedroom and grabbed his tried-and-true means of defense: the magical Zelda replica sword hidden in his closet.
Fending off the stampeding ex was only a mild success. Eugene managed to stand his ground by holding a defensive posture and shouting for John to, “GO AWAY! You don’t live here!” His adversary underestimated the power of the Hylian replica sword and (allegedly) “walked” into blade, which gave Eugene the upper hand, albeit temporarily.
The battle moved into phase II, with Eugene successfully getting John out of the house, and the door locked. Not ready to surrender yet, John bashed his way through the door and engaged Eugene a second time. Trying to get the sword away from him, the melee went sour for the estranged hubby once again, receiving an injury to his chest and leg. But that still wasn’t the end!
Deciding to change strategy, John used his surroundings and grabbed a flowerpot for a weapon. Relying on whatever brute strength he had left, he bashed Eugene in the head, damaging him enough to end the battle.
By now, the police had arrived and both parties were taken to separate hospitals where they were treated for their sustained battle wounds. As the smoke and rubble settles, Eugene is left searching for a new place to live.