Tokyo Life

Published on August 30th, 2013 | by Tanuki


Ninja Fail :: Thief Caught Stealing Girls’ Bicycle Seats, Amassed Collection in Home!

It’s time to sound the chikan alarm again. For a moment there, I thought it might be getting a little dusty; I’m glad the bizarro world of Japan isn’t letting us down or showing signs of quitting. This week’s story isn’t unlike other pervy happenings we’ve looked at, but still maintains that creepy, WTFJAPAN edge we all love and adore (well, at least I do).

Kanagawa Prefecture — 35-year old Joji Kondo was apprehended by police in the early a.m. hours on August 24th at a housing complex (the scene of the crime) for pilfering bicycle seats—girls’ bicycle seats. Continuing a further investigation at Mr. Kondo’s hideout, police uncovered even more snatched items: a whopping 200+ more seats were amassed inside being held captive.

Mr. Kondo is noted as having an intense sexual fetish for these bicycle seats. The juicy particulars of his fascination include: the smooth, tight texture and contours of the leather that wraps the seat and (drumroll) the “lingering scent of a woman”. What’s more, I’m sure most of us wouldn’t be too shocked to find that Kondo would also give his taste-buds a ride by licking the seats, too. Yup.

「調べに「革の質感や、においが好きで、なめたりにおいをかいだりしていた」などと話しているという。(excerpt quote from original Japanese article. see below for source)

Interestingly, Kondo focused those bikes also furnished with child seats, deducing that the primary rider would be female (a mother I assume). How deviously crafty, Mr. Kondo …but rather flawed if I might say, some percentage of those riders would have to be male, wouldn’t they? In addition to this perv-a-licious crime, the 200+ bicycle seats are estimated to be worth in the ballpark of around $12,000 USD. In the United States, for example, that amount could fetch you a grand larceny charge at the very least.

A afterthought: looking at this bizarre crime from a side-angle, Mr. Kondo used a stealthy, non-violent and passive means of nabbing these ass-saddles as opposed to going balls-to-the-wall: stopping riders in their tracks, aggressively demanding “the goods” at knife-point, for example. I’m not condoning his theft by any means and hope all the unfortunate victims receive their seats back. The question is, will they still want them, though? Would you, if you knew a horny sniffer was “all ova dat!”?

No need to steal bicycle seats. Buy your own and spray this onto it, ya dummy!

Going to the extents Mr. Kondo went just isn’t worth it. A bit extreme I feel. If I had crossed paths with him, I would’ve suggested a different approach with ZERO consequences. Why couldn’t he just spritz a little of that scent he’s been after onto his own separate bicycle seat?

Where’s the harm in that, I say. Grab that seat, splash a little Japanese girl pussy scent onto it and take your nostrils out for a real spin!


Source: Sankei News

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About the Author

(Staff Blogger, CKE18 Evangelist) :: When his perverted mind is not overdosing on Japanese girls, Tanuki enjoys common otaku hobbies like: drawing manga, watching anime, gaming, practicing Japanese, and cosplaying as a Human.

One Response to Ninja Fail :: Thief Caught Stealing Girls’ Bicycle Seats, Amassed Collection in Home!

  1. Rat King says:

    A true ninja would have just stealthily REPLACED! the bicycle seats! Or he could have even left a note!

    “Your seat was worn and crass, but I have saved your ass. Bicycle Ninja!”

    Even better, a haiku! No one would have guessed his true purpose and he would have become a local hero!

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