Published on June 30th, 2013 | by Tanuki0
The Suzuka Daikon Massacre :: Crazed Schoolgirl Loves Killing Radishes for Fun!
Today, while I was strolling the interwebz on a journey of utter randomness, I came across a story that had my ribs in pain from so much laughter. A 14-year old Japanese schoolgirl — a particularly mischievous one at that — has gotten herself into a bit of hot water with local police for her barbaric treatment of …daikon radishes: 100 to be exact. Shame, shame, shame! Vegephiles: reader discretion is advised.
Last December, she (the unnamed mastermind) along with two male henchmen went on an almost 24-hour tear of Suzuka, robbing houses blind of their plump radishes. Unfortunately, the fate of those daikon weren’t to be used for any culinary purposes (miso soup, anyone?). Our schoolgirl had something more diabolical and sadistic planned for them. The helpless daikon were arranged in the street where they were run over by unsuspecting drivers, smashing to bits all over the place. Apparently, this moment was the apex of sadistic elation for the young girl. Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy!
With all that commotion — in addition to the 3 little delinquents viewing the butchery nearby — I’m surprised they were not apprehended on the spot. After a few months (April 2013) the kids were finally hauled into custody: the result of an extended investigation into the theft (and murder) of the daikon. And here’s the kicker: while admitting to the crime to police, the 14-year old expressed that she did it all for “laughs”!
The inner-child from my days of egging cars and playing ding-dong-ditch is tempted to cheer for this young lady, even if I feel her motive is a little twisted. I wonder what her punishment should be. Maybe they could stick her in a cell with Oshira-Sama (radish spirit from Spirited Away) and let him have his way with her.
Source: FC2 (Japanese Language)
Image: Pink Tentacle