Hentai Otaku Culture

Published on November 24th, 2013 | by Tanuki


When The TURTLES Are Away, The KITTENS Will Play!

The next time you’re in trouble and need the butt-kicking assistance of the world’s most fearsome fighting team, don’t be surprised if you end up with far more LESS than expected. A new crew is on the scene and they’re neither chomping on a hot slice of pepperoni pizza nor shouting “Cowabunga Dude!” They’re not doing much of anything actually; just standing around being outrageously kawaii while Shredder and The Foot Clan run the streets. Something must be done to set things right. Turtle boys, where are you??? Ugh!

TMNT Figurines

TMNT MIA: Where are these guys when you need em? Save us from the HELLACIOUS KITTIES!

Take, for example, the following dramatization where RatKing and Tanuki have just been cornered by two ugly brutes—brutes you may have heard of…

Rocksteady: We’ve got you this time, you silly chakuero dweebs!

Bebop: *oink* Yeah! *oink*

RatKing: *looking smug* Ha! Think again cretins … we’ve got a special surprise for you coming right up. HEY, FELLAS!!!

RatKing raises his fingers to his lips and lets out a piercing whistle, summoning the mysterious heroes to his aid.

A minute goes by and no one shows up to the rescue.

Rocksteady: Muahaha! Yeah … nice try. We may be dumb, but we’re not that dumb. GET “EM BEBOP!

Just then, an ominous-looking shadow is cast on the wall, sending everyone on edge!

Tanuki: Oh look, here they come now!

Bebop and Rocksteady: ( ゚д゚) (´Д` )

RatKing: *turns head, craning his neck, looking in vain*

But where? Where are they? I don’t see them 🙁


*points at RatKing’s sneakers*

Down there!

RatKing: Oh no! It’s Hello Kitty … Turtles!?!?!?! WTF???

Bebop and Rocksteady: *unphased* Bahahahahahahaha!!!

RatKing and Tanuki: *GULP*

Hello Kitty Turtles: └(=^‥^=)┐ ~(=^‥^)ノ └(=^‥^=)┐ ~(=^‥^)ノ

Bebop and Rocksteady proceed to mop the floor with Ratking and Tanuki. The Hello Kitty Turtles strike a pose, enamored with themselves, not knowing what to do with those strange weapons in their paws. Hilarity ensues.

Now then, back to reality where RatKing and I call on our CKE18 bunnies to beat up the baddies rather than those “cool green dudes”.

Hello Kitty Ninja Turtle Figurines

Gaze of Doom: The Anti-Christs invade the sewers of NYC and my nightmares!

The following is for real: Hello Kitty has dressed herself up in full TMNT garb and is ready for action. Released today, November 23rd, they’ve been brought to us courtesy of Dreams Come True, Inc. but in very limited quantity. Only one-thousand of each Ninja Turtle Kitties have been crafted (four-thousand in total) and come with a price tag of around $70 USD a piece. A majority of fans from each franchise are probably likely excited for the release, but not this guy *pointing to self, grumbling*.

hello kitty ninja turtle gaze


To be honest, I’m kind of a party pooper when it comes to Hello Kitty. Maybe it’s some kind of buried response from my childhood when I used to associate any/all things “girly” to have cuties and — thusly — would run away! Still to this day, HK gives me the heebie jeebies and I feel like — even as I write this post — the Ninja Kittens have a plan to get me while I sleep for some past offense. Where most see the darling face of sublime cuteness with whiskers and a bow atop her furry head, I see a vile gaze that never blinks or wavers. It haunts me — looking into my soul.

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I guess the Ninja Turtles should be pretty stoked that such an iconic (and ubiquitous) feline would crossover from cutesy-ville and join the fight to rid the world of Shredder and his Foot Clan. What do you guys think of this new collaboration between the turtles and kittens?

Images via Dreams Come True Inc.

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About the Author

(Staff Blogger, CKE18 Evangelist) :: When his perverted mind is not overdosing on Japanese girls, Tanuki enjoys common otaku hobbies like: drawing manga, watching anime, gaming, practicing Japanese, and cosplaying as a Human.

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